letting go

Years ago I took some classes in Life Drawing at the Oregon College of Art and Craft. It was quite an eye opener. Life drawing challenged all my self-taught need-to-be-in-control habits. In my youth, I spent many hours sprawled on the floor with a sketchbook, slowly and meticulously constructing drawings with a keen eye for detail and precision. In life drawing, we worked at a much larger scale standing at an easel, using the whole of our bodies, to crank out drawings with messy charcoal on newsprint in 5 minutes or less.

It was tough letting go of my need to over-analyze and just let the drawing come out naturally. Tough, but exhilarating. The short timed sketches got my heart pumping – performance anxiety I suspect – still craving that perfection at my core. I learned to quickly settle into the moment, becoming so absorbed in my work that the three hour class would be over, long before I was ready to go.

One of my favorite drawings was one of my least complete. It was a one minute study and I managed to sketch in only the head, back and part of an arm. But still, I felt it captured the moment, the tilt of the model’s head, her relaxed posture. It wasn’t perfect but it spoke to me then and still does today - let go, let it happen, let it be.